This will be vague, confusing, eccentric and cynical at the very least. It's the kind of 'Privacy Policy' I'd like to see ...

I will treat you with the same respect you show for me. Be nice. Make friends. I'm really an OK kinda guy.

Use this site at your own risk. Most likely, nothing bad will happen :) However, if you expect me to allow unfettered access to this site, think again. I can't think of anything more boring than to monitor a site to remove links to ugly handbags, poor copies of designer shoes, sexual aids and any other crappy money-making scam that people have going. Even so, that doesn't preclude me receiving a tirade of protest via the contact form.

So if you treat me like a wet sponge wiping a toilet bowl, then you should expect a flood of reciprocal dross in return ... however this probably won't happen :) AND ... I could easily take ALL of your personal data and plaster it in 2 metre high lettering on the busiest street corner that will allow, so that every notion of privacy that you ever had will be squashed into a lifeless pulp...

... however this probably won't happen, especially because such a venture would be rather costly (despite potentially being immensely satisfying). Billboards are expensive, and I'd be a fool to waste money on exposing a phony name and email address that you can change at a whim anyway. So, relax :)

Peace and love Garry